The Gospel of Thomas

Fully Interpreted

Taking Back the Throne
Part 1

What is to follow is probably the most important and helpful article that I have written so far, and it is what many of you have been waiting for. It will contain the knowledge that you need to fully understand your situation, and how to reach the enlightenment trigger point.


Those of you who have achieved freedom and are pushing for enlightenment, will feel that you are somehow blocked. It will feel as if there is an impenetrable wall in your way, one that is invisible. It is like reaching the edge of awareness, a barrier beyond which nothing is seen. I didn’t come up against that barrier because I was not pursuing enlightenment. I know how frustrating it can be for you, but have faith and patience, and you will see that wall dissolve.


I will be going deep into my pre-enlightenment memories and revealing in detail how that barrier fell for me. I will also be showing you how to remove the barrier that you are struggling against.


First of all I want to speak about that seemingly impenetrable barrier to enlightenment that you have reached, and why you are having a problem.

To begin with you must stop pushing with the force of desire. The problem is not a lack of the power of desire, and you should have realized by now that it doesn’t matter how strong your desire is, it just doesn’t have any effect, other than to drain your energy and leave you frustrated.


It is not your desire that needs strengthening, it is your will power, which is dependent on faith, and the strongest faith comes from faith in your Self.

It is desire that commands, but it is will that carries out those commands. Think about that for a moment.


In the scriptures it is written in Matthew 17:20; ‘If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.’


So you tried to break through the wall, believing that it was the force of your will that you were using, but it was not your will, it was the force of your desire that you were using. It is like shouting at a deaf man, and nothing happens.


Will is a disobedient servant to those who have little or no faith.


Desire says; ‘Do this’. Will says; ‘I can’t’. Faith says; ‘Yes you can’. Will says; ‘Only if we all work together’.


Awareness, desire, will and faith, are the four legs of the throne on which the Self sits as King. What do you think happens if a leg is broken?


Dethroning equals dis-empowerment and loss of ruler-ship over your inner kingdom.


The problem that you are encountering is lack of faith in yourself. This is a problem that you did not have when you came into the world; it is something you have been taught.


It is those who wish to control you for their own selfish gains that teach you not to have faith in yourself. This is the opposite of what someone who loves and cares for you does.


Where there is no faith in the Self, there is no Love for the Self.


Without faith in the Self and Love for the Self, there can be no confidence in yourself or your reasoning.


So you become dependent on your oppressors for love, acceptance, and guidance, instead of doing what you want to do; you then find yourself seeking permission from others. There is a difference between asking for an opinion and asking for permission.


The end result is that beliefs creep in such as; ‘I am not worthy of being loved’, ‘They are right and I am wrong’, ‘What can I do about anything?’ etc.


So you give all your love to others and none to yourself, you put all your trust in others and none in yourself.


If someone leads you to believe in someone other than yourself, and not in yourself, then they have done nothing for you, but lead you into captivity.

If someone leads you back to loving and believing in yourself, then they have set you free. They are the ones that truly love you.


It is from paradise that you came and it is to paradise that you wish to return; the only way back is through enlightenment.


Those who wish to control you and become your master will either become a crutch for you to lean on, or give you a crutch that they own for you to lean on, but only after they have spiritually crippled you.


The spiritually crippled are those made dependent, i.e. those who have lost faith in themselves and have become dependent on someone else. Those who have control will not want to lose that control. Those who love you will want to heal you; they will give you faith in yourself, until you can stand in your own power.

You must learn to walk in faith again, faith in yourself, and you must learn to love yourself. The things that are preventing you from doing this must be removed, so that your will can become empowered.


The meek are those who do not seek control over the lives of others; meek does not mean weak.


How many of you have looked at yourself and your life as I have done, and said to yourself; ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why do I even exist?’ ‘Is this all there is?’ ‘What is it all for?’


To suddenly turn from the world outside of yourself can be daunting, confusing and even frightening. To continue to do so is both an act of desperation and extreme courage. This is the awakening from the illusion, and it is an awakening that many prefer not to continue, because they find themselves in another world, another reality, one containing guilt and shame, one that the ego rejects.


It is said that ignorance is bliss, but ignorance always leads to tragedy. My life was a tragedy already so I continued to look. I wanted to know the Truth.

I began by looking at my childhood when I first came into this world, and I realized that my life wasn’t always like this. I began to see what I had lost.

It is only when you look at a small child that you see what you have lost, and how wondrous and beautiful is that image, full of innocence and grace, full of willpower, driven by a heart full of righteous spirits; life in its perfection.


How could I experience life such as that once more? How could I regain my original image? An image uncorrupted by this material world? How do I become as a small child again, for their world is Heaven, and mine had become hell?


Now there is something very important to realize here and that is that when a spiritual being is born, it has no image, it is essentially invisible. That is why a spiritual being cannot see itself, and even though it can feel its existence, it is at that point unable to form an image of itself, and so a spiritual beings first image has to be created for it. That first image is referred to in scriptures as Adam, which means ‘first man’. In other words, ‘first man’ refers to the first image that ‘I’ has of itself. From this point a spiritual being is able to create and alter its own images. I didn’t know this before I became enlightened, but I did realize something.


As a child I realized that I had one image, but now looking within, I could see that I had two images, and one of them I did not have as a young child. It was an image that I had created myself, due to the influence of other people and the material world, and this other image had fought with my original image for supremacy. The result was that each had corrupted the other to a degree, (this reminded me of the symbol of yin and yang) and the life that I had as a small child had been lost in the commotion.


So I considered my two images and realized that they were representatives of my two opposing personalities. They were like two faces of a coin that exist together, but only one face is dominant and seen at any given time. This is how two personalities can exist as one.


Creating images of the Self is not restricted to the Self’s two dominant images, because there are people that have multiple personalities, and from each of them they have created a separate image.


Images other than the Self’s two dominant images, are created to deceive other people, or as a defence mechanism.


We spend much of our lives hiding behind masks, hiding our true feelings, hiding our true personalities.


It is said that; ‘All the worlds a stage’ and this is true because it is full of actors pretending to be what they are not.


I tell you in truth that when enlightenment is achieved you will be left with none of the masks that you created, and the world will see only that which was made in the image of God, and it is then that they will see their Father.


Having two personalities is the reason that we can do both good and evil. It is why we are capable of doing right one minute and wrong the next. I had realized that I had a duel personality, and each had created an army of spirits. So there was the reason for my inner conflict, there was a war going on and I was in control of both sides. I was fighting myself and I could see that the same thing was happening to everyone else. The main thing of concern wasn’t that there was a battle going on within, but rather which side was winning. I mean, if there was to be peace, then there could be only one ruler and not two.

It is said that ‘a house divided against itself cannot stand’; neither could my kingdom.


It seemed to me that there was only peace after one side or the other had won a battle, but this lasted only until another battle began.


It was always the way that whichever side lost, it would always blame itself and feel bad about letting the other side have its way; it would feel sorry for its weakness. Of course the winning side would always rejoice.


With there being two personalities it meant that the Self was divided against the Self, the heart was divided, and so was the kingdom.


One side had to conquer the other completely, and the other side had to be so devastated that it was completely and permanently dis-empowered.


There are those who say that we must live in the now, in the present moment that we are experiencing, but that would require forgetting the past and not caring about the future. But time stands still for no-one, and so to live in the now means forgetting lessons learned and warnings of what is to come. To live in the moment is to live in ignorance and denial. I want you to remember the past and have the wisdom to change the future, so I am going to show you where you have been and the possibilities for your future, so that you can make informed choices.


To live in the now requires making no choices, but those who refuse to make choices, soon find that choices are made for them, according to someone else's desire and will.


Let’s take a look at how you got to this point in your life, and what possibilities you have for your future.


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