The Gospel of Thomas

Fully Interpreted


I think it is time to wipe the blackboard clean and start again. The scriptures show the way to enlightenment and freedom, but I had not read them before my enlightenment, and if I had, I would certainly not have been able to understand them as they were meant to be understood. So the scriptures were not the cause of my enlightenment.

I had for most of my life been very interested in the paranormal and supernatural, and although I loved science, it was spiritual things that held the greatest attraction for me, but I found very little comfort in the many books that I searched for answers in. So my enlightenment was not a result of reading other people’s writings.

Enlightenment was something I never pursued, I didn’t even know what the word meant, because I hadn’t been drawn to any religion. I am grateful for that because my questions were much deeper and personal.

There were many times that my own existence and separateness from everything else struck me like a thunderbolt, and there were many times that I lay awake in the silence of the night, saying in my mind; ‘Who am I?’ ‘What am I?’ ‘How did I even get here, and why does this place even exist?’ There were times when I contemplated these questions, and wondered if I had created the reality that I found myself in. Did I manifest everything in my own mind, even people, and then lose control of everything because I had forgotten that they were my creations? This only served to make me feel even more alone and separate from everything.

I didn’t realize at the time, that what I was doing was confusing my spiritual Self and my spiritual universe with my physical body and the material universe.

We are spiritual beings and we are each in possession of a spiritual universe, one in which everything that exists is created by the Self. There are many of us and so there are many spiritual universes. But there is only one material universe in which we all interact. The state of our own spiritual universe is entirely due to the Self, but the state of the physical/material universe is due to the interaction in it of us all. We have always had the power to change everything.

We are coerced into believing many things on our life journey, things that are accepted because of the fear of the consequences of not believing in them, and/or the promise of pleasure for those who accept and comply. I remember looking inside myself and finding the seeds that had been planted I my subconscious by those who wanted to break my spirit, and to rule over my life for their own profit.

I have not been indoctrinated by ‘religious teachers’, and yet I found a seed that related to their God. It had not grown much, and yet it contained an element of fear, one that said; ‘What if they are right?’ So I began to question the reality of what they were teaching about their God, and it was obvious that something was wrong.

If God always existed as a sentient being, then what was he doing before he created the material universe?

If perfect Love is unconditional, then why is God’s Love conditional?

If God loves us, then why does he send us into a world where there is so much corruption, suffering, hate and greed?

If God created everything then is he not responsible for everything he created?

If God created all the different races of people and then chose only one race to be his people, does that not make him a racist?

If God is all powerful, then why does he need people to do his killing and punishing?

If God is everywhere, then why is his absence so obvious?

If God answers prayers, then why do loving souls suffer the most?

If God is all knowing, then why is he so ignorant?

These are just a view of the questions that I asked, and I wanted so much to stand before this God and speak my mind, even if it meant dying and facing the greatest suffering for eternity, but nothing happened, except that the seed that had been planted in my subconscious was no more.

I have always known Love and I always forgave those who caused me hurt. I could never feel the need for vengeance.

So the Truth that the God they were teaching of was false, set me free a little, but there were other questions that I needed to consider.

The next question came easy when I looked back on my life and the way I had lived it. I was about to question my own sanity; was my loving nature the result of a mental defect?

Friends and family said to me on many occasions, ‘I don’t understand you, with what you know and what you can do, you should be driving an expensive car and be living in your own house, and I don’t understand why you raised 4 children that were not your own', etc.

I knew what to do to become wealthy and powerful, and I could have been very successful and respected, but there was something inside me preventing me from going that way. Was my empathy a mental defect? Was my Love no more than a desperation to be liked and accepted? Had my life been wasted? And had the sacrifices of my own pleasure been for nothing?

I came to the conclusions that without empathy feelings cannot be shared, guilt cannot be felt, and you can never experience the suffering or joy of others. I imagined a world without empathy, a world where people could hurt and kill without feeling any remorse. Empathy is not a mental defect, it is a blessing, a sign that you are not spiritually dead. It is because of those who have no empathy that the world is in the state that it is. They are the leaders, and it is plain to see where they are leading mankind. With empathy you suffer, but it is never for the Self, it is for others and for what is good and right. That is of spiritual love.

My next question was probably the most important, it was about Love. It was the driving force behind my empathy, it was a power that dominated all of my desires, a power that would punish me for disobeying. It was like riding a horse that had a very strong will, it knew where it was going, but I didn’t. The reins were in my hands, but I somehow feared that it would throw me if I tried to change its course.

I began to question the nature of Love, where it had taken me and where it was taking me.

As I looked back on my life journey I saw those I had loved, those I had lost, and those who had taken advantage of my nature, and I saw a trail of tears and suffering, and my horse was covered in scars. I also saw other riders who had taken control of their horses. They had stopped many times to enjoy pleasures that were denied to me. But their horses were different, they didn’t know where they were going, and they looked like they were ready to die, whereas my horse was full of life and knew where it was going.

I had to ask the questions, was I a fool for love? Was I a fool for not taking control? Was I a fool for untamed Love? Had I wasted my life on caring more for others than myself? Was I right or wrong? Is Love right or wrong?

It is said that a house divided against itself cannot stand, neither can a species like mankind, because one side will always try to dominate the other, both sides competing against each other and believing there can be no peace except in conquest. The whole world is a battlefield, it was when we came into it. On one side there are empaths and on the other side are psychopaths. In between there are those who constantly change sides but have no loyalty to either. So which side do you think should win? Which side do you think is the right way to live?

Empaths Love and care for others, psychopaths care only for themselves.

If it were not for loving souls being strong then the psychopaths would have taken this world a long, long time ago and there would now be no mankind, because they would have fought with each other to the last one standing.

What kind of world do you want to leave behind for the children yet to come?

I could have chosen to destroy my empathy, I could have chosen to live the rest of my life seeking only my own pleasure, but if I had done so I would have had no right to complain about anyone who had caused me suffering.

If we lay down a law then we are bound by it also. Predators only learn what they have done wrong to others when they themselves become the prey.

We suffer for love because we know that there is no greater or longer lasting pleasure, and it is the right way for all of us to be.

Who can say in their heart that love is wrong? No one except for those unable to feel it, and I have felt it all my life.

I am the same as I have always been, the world can take back and keep anything that belongs to it. I would rather be penniless, poor, dressed in rags and homeless than to turn from love.

I think the greatest harm that the unloving do to us, is to teach us not to love ourselves, that we are unworthy of love, that our mistakes in life are unforgivable unless we get on our knees and beg for it. It is as if they have opened a door to our very soul and beaten it into submission. This is how I spent most of my life, never liking myself, always judging myself and suffering guilt, and always fearing the judgement of others. I was very shy, always afraid of eye contact in case they would look into my soul and see what I believe myself to be; weak and unworthy, powerless and lacking in self-esteem and confidence.

There had been some loving souls in my life who told me that I had a good soul and a good heart, but I had not seen that because I was afraid to look in case I saw my shame, so I could never accept what they were saying. I had no problem accepting condemnation from others though. I think the worst thing is how sensitive we become to criticism, it seems like a knife in the heart.

I eventually found the courage to look inside myself with complete honesty. I would find a quiet private place where I could be alone with myself, and secretly go within. There was no need to fear the judgements of others because only I would know what I was to discover. I knew Love and I knew Truth, that they are the only powers that are worthy of righteous judgements, and I knew that we would all be judged by them in the end.

I surrendered humbly everything that I had to their judgement, my ego, my will, my desire, my judgement, my very life. I had no power left with which to resist, and judgement began.

I was reminded of how I came into this world as an innocent child, full of Love and possessing only Truth. I had been full of life as we all were, and the only thing that we had to learn for ourselves was wisdom. I was shown how our faith in Love and Truth is tested every moment of our life, and how that which is not of Love and Truth tempts us with pleasures that are unrighteous and temporary, and each time we taste their fruit, we become a little more corrupt and ignorant, each time losing a portion of the perfect life we came with, and we become a little more blind and sick. We all stumble and some fall unable to get up again. We all make mistakes when our faith in Love and Truth becomes weak, and when our faith returns we suffer the regret of what we have done wrong. It is in that regret that we pay for our wrongs and are forgiven.

We come from a place of Love and Truth and if we had come into a world full of Love, Truth and wisdom then we would not have been unfaithful.

There were times that my faith had been weakened and I had stumbled, and even though I stood on my feet again, my soul still bore the faint marks of shame and was imperfect. How then, I wondered, do I make it perfect again and experience a perfect life once more?

There was one more thing that I had to confront, and that was the inevitable reality that my physical body would someday cease to function, and I would experience death. There were questions, and I had to ask them regardless of what they would reveal.

I saw only two possibilities; either my existence as a spiritual sentient being would continue, or I would simply slip into darkness and be no more. The Truth is I wasn’t certain anymore and perhaps that was because I had become so weary of life and its struggles and suffering that I considered slipping into non-existence as a blessing. I tried to hold on to my memories from the past that had revealed the reality of myself as a spiritual being, who came to inhabit a physical body, but they slipped through my fingers like sand.

What then for my life and how I had lived it, if in the end I would cease to exist? Would the world have been a better place without me? It was then that a voice said to me; ‘Ask those who you cared for, those you have shown compassion, forgiveness and understanding, those who you sacrificed your own pleasure for to make their lives better, ask those to whom you showed the way.’

My life had not been wasted, and it had not been without pleasure, because my pleasure was found in the happiness of others.

I didn’t know how long I would be in this world; that is something no one can be sure of. For me it didn’t matter, I was free to be myself and I would be faithful to Love and follow it to the end, whatever was to come.

Love leads to Truth and Truth sets us free, together they make our spirit holy.

I thought that was it, I had found peace, but I didn’t realize that a process had begun, and that its completion would lead to a rebirth, enlightenment and ascension.

I knew something had changed but I didn’t understand why or realize what was to come, indeed I wouldn’t understand anything until after my enlightenment experience, which was so unexpected because I wasn’t looking for anything. The actual experience is impossible to describe fully. It can be imagined but that imagination falls far short of actually experiencing it, or actually being there in the moment. You can have that experience; I want you to have it. I now understand how and why it happened, so in my next article I will tell you what I discovered, I will give you the knowledge that has been hidden from the world by the Elite who kept it for themselves so that they could rule this world as Gods. I will also be giving you the keys to the scriptures greatest mysteries. It is time to shatter the illusions that have captivated and disempowered so many.

Before I leave this article I want to share the following with you:

The first thing that I became aware of in this world was that of being in my mother’s womb. I was fully aware that I was to leave that place but I had no concept of the place that I would enter. I remember looking around at the world I found myself in, and I had no understanding of what I was seeing or hearing.

It was between then and my starting school at the age of 5 that I started having visions of myself in a place before I came into this world. I remember being in a place not of the Universe, as if in a cave entrance looking down on the Universe. There was a man in a blue robe who had long blonde hair, and I felt only peace and Love, the Love of a long known friend.

I knew that it was time to choose my next life journey and my mother. He said in a soft voice; ‘Have you chosen?’ and I said, ‘I have’. I then left that place and found myself in my mother’s womb. To leave had been my choice, and I knew that I would have to walk in the darkness once more, to suffer and learn what I once knew. I am one of many who came to show the way of Love, and I will lift them from their knees with the Truth that the world has hidden from them.

When I was 7 years of age I kept having a recurring dream, one that I didn’t understand until after my enlightenment. I was suspended above a vast expanse of water, its surface was so still that it had the appearance of glass, and I felt its peace through my whole being. It was a dark place lit only a little by an unseen light source, as would be in moonlight. I then saw an old galleon ship begin to come into view on the horizon from my right. It was then that the water became spikey like shattered glass, and I felt the hurt of them permeating my whole being. It was like when every nerve in your body was on edge. I know now that it was a vision of the beginning of my journey of discovery in this life journey, and that what I felt were my emotions. In the search for Truth we suffer much, and if we don’t search, then we know peace once more but it means staying where we are.

It was when I read Revelation 4 that I first came across the words ‘Lake of glass’ and I realized what it meant.

I have had many spiritual experiences throughout my life, including visions, telepathy, precognition etc. Some were good and some were not, but I want to move on from here and back to my enlightenment.

So what is the difference between enlightenment and pre-enlightenment?  Well before my enlightenment it was like searching a darkened room with a candle. There were many things to discover, many candles to light, until the whole room was filled with light. I didn’t even know what I was looking for, or what I would find. The room was so big that it seemed that it would take more than a lifetime to complete.

So what happened to me? I looked at all the knowledge that I had discovered, and I realized the futility of my efforts. So I blew out all of the candles I had lit except for the ones I had started with. All I knew then was what I knew from the beginning. I AM, I EXIST. This knowledge could not be disputed, and as in the beginning I found myself in a space filled with pure light, and there was no other knowledge to diminish its brightness. This was my reawakening; my rebirth, the Genesis of my new life.

The end is the same as the beginning; a return to existing in pure light.

The first question we ever ask is; ‘What am I?’ You see the light was good because you felt the pleasure of Truth, and you begin to ask questions to pursue more pleasure.

The pleasure that you felt in the beginning was good, it was the first time you felt Love.

It is the light of Truth that fills the mind, but it is the Love of Truth that causes its expansion.

I never once in this life journey forgot myself, or the truth of my existence. I have always known and felt that undeniable truth and its effect, and it is because of this effect that I know what is true and what is not true.

There are those who have forgotten themselves, and in doing so, cannot discern the difference between that which is true and that which is not. It is such people that say there is no good or evil, and truth is what they make it.

But there are those who once forgot and now remember, and there are those who never forgot. Such people know the Truth when they hear it or see it.

I once wrote; ‘When you stand alone with nothing that the world can take from you, and only Love in your heart, then the gates of Heaven will open for you’.

Enlightenment happens in a moment of realization. You have always had what you need to step into that moment of spiritual rebirth. ‘What you have within you will save you if you bring it forth’, and what you must bring forth is your Christ personality, the one that is of unconditional Love and Truth; this is the image of the righteous Self, the first and the last.

In the beginning you were the master of your life, but who will be the master at the end of your life journey? Your Christ personality or your anti-Christ personality? The choices have always been yours. I chose to Love unconditionally and the little Truth that I had. These things could not be taken from me. I was true to myself.

Love and blessings,


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